28 December 2022

#WIPWednesday #YearInReview

Season's Greetings!

For this final #WIPWednesday of the year, my 2022 retrospective #YearInReview.


Books

Last month, tumbling: poetic thoughts from an anxious mind celebrated its 3rd book birthday.

I did not submit to any anthologies this year, I didn't start any new book projects, and I hardly worked on any of my existing WIPs. Books and print simply were not my focus this year, but I truly do hope to get back to at least one of these projects in the coming year.


Essays, Articles, Short Stories, and Poems

In 2022, I published eleven new essays and one new poem. Plus, I had a few essays syndicated on The Mighty, Thought Catalog's Collective World, Filter Free Parents, and The Good Men Project.

My top performing essay of this year was “'I Ought to Get Up and Just Beat You',” which was selected to be featured in the online publication, Human Parts.

My essay, "My Husband and I Never Say 'I Love You, Too,'" continues to be my highest earning piece of writing ever, even though it stands 3rd in overall engagement. After more than three years, it still gets new views every week and earns a little here and there.

I don't have access to pageview data for each of the sites that have published or syndicated my work (though that would be the best metric to measure each piece's success), but I use a combination of the stats I do have to estimate how each of my pieces performs.

My top three pieces have not changed in the past few years, but their views have continued to grow as they still occasionally circulate.

My Top 3 Essays To Date:
(estimated based on page stats and/or social media reactions)

153,015 - 5 Reasons I’m Going To Continue Being A SAHM Even After My Kids Are In School: originally published on Scary Mommy; syndicated on That's Inappropriate (now Filter Free Parents), & Her View From Home

21,487 - When Anxiety Makes You Feel Like You Are in Danger Every Day of Your Life: originally published on Invisible Illness; syndicated on Thought Catalog, The Mighty, Yahoo! Lifestyle, & InspireMore

19,139 - My Husband and I Never Say “I Love You, Too”: originally published on P.S. I Love You; syndicated on InspireMore, TODAY Parents, The Good Men Project, & Filter Free Parents


Online Presence, Mailing List, and Appearances

This year, I updated my author/bio headshot across the internet for the first time since 2018.

I was part of a local Art & Poetry event in September at which I read my poem, "Thrive."

My mailing list grew with a few new subscribers and I issued my quarterly newsletter on time in March, June, September, and December.

I continue to have social media profiles on four major platforms: Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest. Though, I am not consistently active on all of them. I've chosen one platform to focus on and, for now, that is Instagram. There, I share little tidbits to my Stories almost daily and I have a series called #NoticedMoments where I post square black & white photos with captions as random glimpses into my daily life and what's on my mind. And I occasionally make graphics to share across all platforms.

This year, I created a brand new Medium publication as a space for members of the Bi+/MSpec community to share their voices in an effort to increase authentic visibility and dispel the many misconceptions which fuel biphobia and bi-erasure. So, I am now the founder, contributions managing editor, and social media admin of Visible Bi+. I've found the effort I put into this project to be quite fulfilling, though it can be demanding of my time.


Looking to 2023
As I said in my latest newsletter:

"These past few months have been a mixed bag for me. In fact, this whole year has been a bit of a rollercoaster – ups, downs, twists, turns – and I'm prone to motion sickness. In all seriousness, though, the past several months have not been great for my mental health. And this season tends to easily overwhelm me in the best of times. I know I am not alone in that.
But there are a few things I appreciate about this time of year. The cozy nights snuggled on the couch with a good book or movie or game. The twinkling lights. The comfort food. And the sense of a fresh start which I've found, even in the worst of times, inexplicably comes along with the approaching of each new year. I hope 2022 was good to you but, if it was not, we can both hope that 2023 will be better."

29 November 2022

#WIPWednesday

I'm posting this #WIPWednesday entry on Tuesday because tomorrow I will be at the hospital with John while he undergoes hip surgery.

If you follow along on these posts, you know that for months now I've been hoping the next month will get better. I know this next month will be incredibly demanding. So, I'm not even going to pretend there is a chance everything will suddenly fall into place and feel any easier. I'm just going to continue to give myself lots of compassion, practice patience, and continue to try to recognize and celebrate the small wins.

Speaking of small wins, this month:


I may not have much to report, but I plan to be back here next month with another post.

26 October 2022

#WIPWednesday

I don't even know how it is the end of October, already. I have very little to report this month.

  • I made a graphic to share on social media

That's it. I don't know where the weeks went. I'd like to think I'll finally pull myself together next month but, as we head into the holiday season, I know that is very unlikely. Patience and compassion and all that.

28 September 2022

#WIPWednesday

Welp. September was still a struggle for me. And, as such, I have very little to share this month. But, let's continue to celebrate the small wins:

  • I made a graphic to share on social media
  • And, we'll call this one a big win, I participated in a local Art & Poetry event:


As John pointed out, there is a sense of optimism and hope starting to surface. Maybe October will be the month I finally start to feel like myself again, physically and mentally. As ever is my goal, I will try to offer myself patience and compassion, whatever the next month brings.

31 August 2022

#WIPWednesday

August was not all I'd hoped, last month, it could be. Things were not really any less hectic – just differently so – and I've been struggling with my mental health.


Still, I am trying my best to offer myself patience and compassion. And trying to at least recognize, if not celebrate, even the smallest wins.

So, here are this month's small wins:

My hopes for September are very much the same as my hopes were for August – especially to finally start to feel like myself again, physically and mentally. And, as ever, I will try to offer myself patience and compassion along the way.

27 July 2022

#WIPWednesday

I've been resting and recuperating in my little recliner nest this past week. Exactly one week ago, I had surgery to remove the right lobe of my thyroid. Two weeks ago, I was navigating multiple pre-op appointments for myself, an appliance repair, the start of a summer class for my oldest and other appointments for the kids, as well as helping at my mom's – all immediately after returning from a trip we were all on three weeks ago. And all this after my step-dad's death four and a half weeks ago while John and the kids were on their Disney trip with extended family.

So, I don't feel like I am exaggerating when I say: It's been a bit much, this past month. And I am actually quite proud that I have any work to share this #WIPWednesday.

I wrote an essay, "My Therapist Asked Me to Describe What the Waiting Feels Like," about a previously unpublished essay I had written based on a conversation with my therapist.

And I made a set of graphics to share for that essay, too. As well as making a few posts for my #NoticedMoments series on Instagram.

And, though I decreased how often I made graphics and posted, I also kept up with my efforts for Visible Bi+ which published three new essays this month.

I am hoping August is less hectic, less chaotic. I am hoping I will start to feel like myself again – physically and mentally. I am hoping I can start getting back into my routines. But, more than likely, all that is more than just a few weeks off. And I will try to offer myself patience and compassion.

29 June 2022

#WIPWednesday

It's time for #WIPWednesday, but I don't have much progress to report this month. Not only because of the typical seasonal reasons I've mentioned the last couple months but also because of unusual circumstances piling up: back-to-back vacations because of COVID re-scheduling making the timing less than ideal, prep and pre-op appointments for my upcoming surgery, and a death in the family which has been complicated to navigate.

I imagine I won't get much done next month, either.

The time I was able to devote to working mostly went into my new Medium publication, Visible Bi+, again, this month. I've found this project to be quite rewarding and it was especially so during Pride month.

I did write a new essay at the start of this month.


I made a new graphic and continued my #NoticedMoments series on Instagram, as well.

My self-portrait project from last month went well enough and I began the process of updating my author/bio headshot everywhere. There are still some places I need to have it changed but it is mostly done.

And, my 2nd Quarterly Newsletter of the year went out earlier this month.

25 May 2022

#WIPWednesday

It is the final Wednesday of the month, which means it's time for #WIPWednesday even though, on days like today (after yet another school shooting in the US, just 10 days after a grocery store shooting), doing stuff like this feels pointless and ridiculous. But days like this are so frequent. If it is not mass shootings, it is human rights being stripped away, or wars, or natural disasters intensified by the climate crisis, or, or, or. I get caught up in a vortex of conflictions: not wanting to become desensitized but also not having the capacity to handle the constant onslaught of tragedies, not wanting to continue on with my usual daily life in the wake of tragedy but also not wanting to succumb to despair, not knowing how to exist in this world but still trying to anyway.

I don't think there is any one right way to exist in these times – to cope with these tragedies – but that does nothing to keep me from feeling like I am doing it wrong.

Today, though, my instinct is to acknowledge the tragedies and the truth of the situation, to feel infuriated, and to still continue on with the day's checklist.

So, here I am.

As I said last post, this time of year – the dreaded end-of-school-year and start-of-summer season which also hosts Mother's Day, Father's Day, and 4/5 of the birthdays in our family (as well as a few extended family birthdays) – tends to be a bit overwhelming, consumes a great deal of extra time & energy, and passes in a blur.

Again, this month, the bulk of my working hours went into my new Medium publication, Visible Bi+. I am pleased to report that it is continuing to receive positive feedback and grow organically. I am finding the effort I put into this project to be quite fulfilling.

I also wrote a new essay this month.


I made a new graphic and continued my #NoticedMoments series on Instagram, as well.

This week, I attempted to take a new self-portrait to update my author/bio headshot. Taking the pictures was daunting enough (I'm much too self-critical) but I'm dreading the next steps, even more. Hopefully, I'll like one well enough and get it uploaded to all the different places it needs to be to create continuity and recognition (it's not just my social media profiles and blog but all the different publications which host my bio, as well).

And I'm still not sure what is going on with that HrtWarming syndication they reached out to me about back in February. I'm marking it off my list at this point.

Next up, I'll be working on my Quarterly Newsletter to go out in June.

27 April 2022

#WIPWednesday

This #WIPWednesday rolled around fast! I think it is just this time of year and I expect the next couple of months to zip by even faster as we enter the dreaded end-of-school-year, start-of-summer season which also hosts Mother's Day, Father's Day and 4/5 of the birthdays in our family (as well as a few extended family birthdays).

The bulk of my working hours went into my new Medium publication, Visible Bi+. I am so proud of the publication's organic growth over the first month and the overwhelmingly positive feedback we've received, so far.


Since that post, we're now up to 12 stories which received a total of nearly 1,800 views on Medium.

And we've grown our Instagram reach to more than 3,400 unique accounts with a total of more than 15,400 impressions and gained our first 230+ followers.

One of those new stories was mine. I wrote and published, "My Bisexuality is Not Impossible nor Irrelevant," earlier this month.

I also made a new graphic and continued my #NoticedMoments series on Instagram.

I'm still not sure what is going on with that HrtWarming syndication they reached out to me about back in February.

On to May!

30 March 2022

#WIPWednesday

Big news this #WIPWednesday! And somewhat unexpected.

As is evidenced by the existence of this blog, I usually share what I'm working on and planning well in advance. But with this project, I took a new approach. I didn't set myself up to fall short of any goals or deadlines. I just did it.

I created a brand new Medium publication.

Visible Bi+ is a space for members of the Bi+/MSpec community to share their voices. We’re striving to increase authentic visibility and dispel the many misconceptions which fuel biphobia and bi-erasure. 

Those of you who have followed me for a while might be surprised – is this me picking a niche?!? Well, no. But, to be fair, it is beyond what I would have expected of myself.

This isn't me picking a niche because I have not committed to write solely about this one topic, or to even write enough about this one topic to build a whole platform on it. I'm still the niche-avoidant, you-get-all-of-me, writer I've always been. What this is, is me creating and maintaining a space for others to write and share their experiences. This is curating a collection of diverse perspectives on this one topic.

I am now the founder, contributions managing editor, and social media admin of Visible Bi+. For this type of Medium publication, the editor/publication does not make any money off of their writers’ work and receives no compensation for the time and effort spent creating, maintaining, and promoting the publication. Medium is ad-free, so even Medium isn't profiting in the ways typical outlets do (they, instead, sell optional memberships).

I've essentially taken on an unpaid volunteer position in hopes of helping the Bi+ community gain visibility (and in a way that is respectful of writers as they retain all rights to their work, have the option to try to earn money on Medium, and do get proper "exposure" with direct credit to their own Medium profile).

The part that is beyond what I would have expected of myself falls into the promoting category as I'm now the social media admin of both Twitter and Instagram accounts for Visible Bi+ – and we all know I am no huge fan of spending more time on social media. But, I started out with reasonable expectations and a plan to keep the time and effort required at a sustainable level. *fingers crossed*

The idea for this publication took shape as I was drafting a new essay for #BiHealthMonth, "Visibility Matters." When I started writing about my bisexuality, late last year, I noticed that there were no active Medium publications specifically for the Bi+ community. There are some great publications that service the LGBTQ+ community as a whole, but I was looking for something more.. niche (oh, I am a tangle of contradictions, I know). Those first essays, I decided to self-publish. But, with this draft, when I couldn't find what I was looking for, I decided to create it.

I've been writing on Medium for more than four years now, but I'd never tried my hand at running a publication. I didn't over-plan with my typical numerous checklists or even overthink as much as usual. I just kept doing the next thing. Before I knew it, I had not only set up the publication but also created a logo and tagline, written the "About" section, set up coordinating social media accounts on Instagram and Twitter, written the "Write for Us" submission guidelines (I've since edited them numerous times as different questions were posed), and hit publish on that draft that started this ball rolling. I then settled on a format to follow for promoting the stories on social media and created the necessary templates. I created graphics to call for submissions and was excited to quickly get a new writer, some social media followers, our first story submitted and published, another new writer, more followers...

The publication launched on 14 March 2022 with just me and my "Visibility Matters" essay. And, 16 days later, here's where we are now: Six people have requested to be added as contributing writers, two of them have written already, three of their stories have been published and promoted, and the Instagram account already has its first 100 followers.

So far, I'd say this endeavor has been rather rewarding.

All this was, understandably, the bulk of my work, this month. But, I do have a couple other updates.

The older piece I mentioned submitting for syndication last month was accepted. Filter Free Parents ran it with the new title:"Men Having Long Hair Is Not A New Radical Idea – And I Don’t Need Your Opinion On It" (coincidentally, it went live on my birthday).

I made a couple new graphics for my writer social media and continued my Instagram #NoticedMoments series.

And, I'm still waiting for the HrtWarming syndication I mentioned the editor reaching out to me about, last month.

23 February 2022

#WIPWednesday

As I mentioned in last month's #WIPWednesday, things have been stressful, personally, but surprisingly productive, professionally.

The piece I mentioned submitting for syndication last month, but to which I hadn't yet received a response, was accepted. Unfortunately, there were some issues with proper credit being given on the piece. As I've shared about many times here, the only reason to submit writing to unpaid outlets is for "exposure." The outlet is meant to share the writer's bio and links when they use the writer's words – without compensation – to generate views on their site (and, subsequently, income for themselves). I had submitted my piece for syndication to Thought Catalog. I already have work syndicated with them and a bio on their site. However, since I last worked with them they started a new platform, Collective World. My piece was accepted into Collective World and published without my bio at the end of the essay, without a link to my Thought Catalog bio, without a link to the original essay or any indication that it had been previously published, without any links, at all! And, then it was shared on Thought Catalog's social media! I received absolutely ZERO exposure. And it took me a week to finally get someone to respond to me about the issue. They did, then, add a short bio with a few links to the end of the essay. But, it was too late, by then, for me to get any exposure for the social media share. I let it slide when Thought Catalog did not link to the original publications of the other essays I syndicated with them, because I did have a bio and thought it was still good exposure. But, after this experience, it feels more like them trying to claim ownership of words they do not own. I am going to have to think long and hard about ever working with Thought Catalog or Collective World again.

Shortly after all this, I finally heard back about the new piece I had submitted (for pay, if selected) back in December with another outlet. My piece was not selected to be featured for their February theme. So, I submitted it to the Medium publication, Hello, Love. It was accepted, published, and chosen for further distribution by Medium. Then, it was syndicated by The Good Men Project a week later.

I also submitted another older piece for syndication with a site I've worked with in the past. I haven't heard back about that one, yet.

And, the editor of HrtWarming reached out to me about wanting to syndicate a piece of mine. I've worked with them in the past and granted permission but it has not run yet.

And, I made a new graphic and redesigned an old one for Instagram.

All in all, this month was, again, more productive than I would have expected.

26 January 2022

#WIPWednesday

It's the last Wednesday of the month, so that means it's time for another #WIPWednesday!

I'm still waiting to hear if the new piece I submitted back in late December will be accepted to run in February. I expect I should get a response soon.

I feel like I really got back into the groove this month. It was mostly spurred by inspiration stemming from my cancer-survivor health anxiety but, hey, inspiration is inspiration, I guess. And writing has always been a cathartic coping mechanism for me.

On the 6th, I wrote a new essay titled: "A Good Doctor is Hard to Find," and published it on Medium. That same day, I made a new graphic for sharing it, as well.

I made and shared another graphic on the 9th, this one prompted by my response to a quote that really resonated.

On the 13th, I wrote another new essay. It's been a while since I cranked out two essays in less than two weeks! This one, titled: "If I Knew When and How I’d Take My Last Breath," was also published on Medium (see my December #WIPWednesday post about why I prefer Medium these days).

After a very long hiatus, I tried my hand, again, at submitting a couple pieces for syndication. I still haven't had a response to one, but the other was accepted! It was quite reaffirming to receive that acceptance email.

The Mighty syndicated my 2020 essay: "Cancer Never Taught Me Any Wonderful Life Lessons," and promoted it on their social media, yesterday.

And, these past couple weeks, I made a couple more graphics – mostly as vehicles for sharing updates about the medical situation I've been going through.

All in all, it was an extremely stressful month, personally, but a quite productive month, professionally.