#WIPWednesday #YearInReview

While I fell short on more than a few goals, 2018 was full of growth, progress, and more successes than I ever expected.

For this final #WIPWednesday of the year, a 2018 retrospective #YearInReview.


Books

I was not planning to write a children's book this year, but sometimes inspiration strikes and something unexpected is created. Once the vision came together for my words to become a beautifully illustrated children's book, I set to the task of researching publishers and drafting query letters. It has received seven rejections, so far, but it is still out for consideration with three publishers and I have a list of several others I am prepared to query in 2019.

I struggled a bit with the family history memoir I settled on writing back in February, getting just 4,744 words into the rough draft before officially putting it on hiatus to work on my novel idea in October. I still feel strongly that this is a story I want to tell and I intend to finish it, one day.

My fiction novel is my main project at the moment. I began in October and I have written 17,507 words of a very rough draft over the past couple months. I am well outside my comfort zone with the genre, but I am enthralled with the world I've imagined and I am determined to see this project through.


Essays, Articles & Short Stories

When this year started, I had only one published essay: my first piece from 2016 that went viral before I had any idea what was going on. After a year-long break from writing, I decided to get back into it at the start of 2018.

This year, I have been featured on KidTripster, Perfection Pending, TODAY Parents, Medium, That's Inappropriate, Organized Mom, The Good Men Project, Scary Mommy, Love What Matters, InspireMore, and The Mighty.

I've shared poetry, prose, and I even entered a short story in a flash fiction contest.

I've received recognition for being Top Writer in the Parenting category on Medium, for having the most pageviews in a month for my syndicated piece on That's Inappropriate, by winning a writing challenge on Hopes and Dreams for Our Future, by having my piece featured in the InspireMore newsletter, and by winning a writing prompt contest on InspireMore. All of this is more success than I ever imagined back in January.

My stories have been shared far and wide – and by some big pages – across social media.

I don't have access to pageview data for each of the sites that published my work (though that would be the best metric to measure each piece's success), but I can use MuckRack to calculate the social media reactions for each piece, which is the next best thing.

My Top 3 Essays To Date:
(based on social media reactions)

104,055 - 5 Reasons I'm Going To Continue To Be A SAHM Even After My Kids Are In School on Scary Mommy: 98,623 + syndicated on That's Inappropriate: 5,432

5,006 - I Don't Miss My Kids Being Little on That's Inappropriate: 1,699 + syndicated on Scary Mommy: 3,307

3,103 - You Don't Need To Do It All This Holiday Season on Medium: 14 + syndicated on Love What Matters: 93 + syndicated on TODAY: 2,800 + syndicated on InspireMore: 70 + syndicated on The Mighty: 122 + syndicated on The Good Men Project: 4


Online Presence

As you can see, social media is a huge part of what makes my personal essays and articles successful. Online presence is also extremely important as an author. Many (if not most) publishers will look at a writer's online audience and social media reach, factoring it into their decision making. And, should I decide to self-publish a book at some point, social media becomes even more important.

Social media is, by far, my biggest challenge as a writer. Personally, it overwhelms me; I hardly use it. But, professionally, I recognize its importance and have been making an effort to grow my audience.

I started this year with a few online goals, which I was able to keep:
• No cost. I was/am not prepared to pay for web hosting or other online services, at this point.
• Don't try to do them all. Focus on only a couple social media platforms.
• Stay active and schedule ahead to avoid overwhelm. One post a day on Facebook.

Going into 2019, my goals are pretty much the same and I'll add that I'd like to organically grow my Facebook page likes to 500 by my birthday in February.

I started this year with just Facebook and Twitter.

My Facebook page is growing slowing but is doing well. I am, unfortunately, stuck in a glitch with trying to change my Facebook page name and have had no luck with getting any actual page support since March.

I found Twitter to be a wonderful place for me as a writer looking for writing encouragement, commiseration, and tips. I have not, however, found it useful in promoting my work.

I also tried Pinterest and have failed pretty miserably there, as well.

While I am not going to delete any of these public profiles meant to promote myself as a writer, I know I can only happily manage a couple before it all seems like too much and I am overwhelmed. So, Pinterest and Twitter will likely get very little attention in 2019.

But, I just recently added Instagram to the mix. It is an active platform and one on which I can share the images I create with my words and quotes of others'. My goal there will be to post 3-5 times a week. We'll see if it translates into any meaningful following when it comes to promoting my work.


Looking to 2019
Looking back, 2018 was better than I dared to hope when I decided to pursue my writing aspirations. Looking forward to 2019, I can only hope for more of the same – and maybe to finish the first draft of this book.

InspireMore

At the end of November, I came across a site I hadn't heard of before (even though a couple of my Facebook friends followed their page): InspireMore.

I have been interested in finding new publishers to syndicate my work, so I checked out their submissions page and sent a query.

I received a reply informing me they were interested in republishing my story and also inviting me to become a featured creator for the site.

Over the past month, they have earned a top spot among my favorite sites to work with!

"If you haven't heard of InspireMore, go check them out!
I just recently started collaborating with them and I am truly impressed.
They are all about spreading positive stories, they value and respect their creators, the editor has been lovely to work with, and they donate a portion of their ad revenues to a different charity each month – just by reading stories on their site, you are raising funds for a good cause!"

I already had three stories syndicated on InspireMore. One was even featured in their newsletter, Morning Smile. Then, the editor let me know about a contest for their featured creators to write an original piece based off of one-of-three writing prompts – the winner to receive a $50 prize.

One of the prompts caught my attention: "Tell us a resolution you've made — and kept — and how it changed you." I immediately knew I could write a piece for this and set to it.

I was ecstatic when I received an email on the 21st saying my piece had been selected!



Not only that, the same day I received another email that was sent out to all featured creators who had published five or more pieces on InspireMore, gifting us each a t-shirt to thank us!

I couldn't be any more pleased with my experience as a featured creator for InspireMore and I am looking forward to publishing many more stories with them in 2019!

#WIPWednesday

My holiday piece was picked up for one more syndication and I am now a contributor for The Mighty! This is the site I mentioned querying a couple weeks ago. I am thrilled to have been accepted there. I still have my initial submission pending review with them, as well.

I completed a new 1,000-word essay for an InspireMore writing prompt contest and submitted it on a deadline. It was accepted and published, and should be shared soon.

I also prepped a short piece for a SNAPSHOTS prompt but am holding it to submit next week.

A new start-up online magazine contacted me with interest in syndicating one of my pieces. It may run in the next week or two.

And I did manage to write a few hundred words on the novel, bringing the word count to 17,507.

This has been another fantastic week in an unexpectedly fabulous month for my writing career!

#WIPWednesday

Progress!

It isn't much, but I am delighted to have progress to show this week. The novel's word count is now up to 17,206.

My latest piece has continued to make the rounds. While it is still my third best performing piece (in terms of social media reactions), this is the first time since my very first essay in 2016 that I have felt this kind of excitement for a piece. It started on Medium, where it was featured in their Family section and received over 400 claps. Then, it was syndicated on Love What Matters. Then, it was picked up by TODAY Parents where it was shared on their facebook page two different times and the official TODAY Show page three different times and the Kathie Lee and Hoda page twice! Then, it was syndicated on InspireMore and, yesterday, it was featured in their email newsletter! The shelf-life of this holiday piece is just about up, but it has been a fun ride!

InspireMore was the site I mentioned last week which invited me to become a contributor. Besides featuring my latest piece, they also syndicated two other pieces of mine this week. I have really enjoyed working with them, so far.

I updated my blog to reflect the new collaboration. I also did a bit more updating of my online presence and decided that I should branch out and try something new as we head into 2019. More on that later.

I created another image for social media, as well. Those still do well for generating interaction and I enjoy putting them together.

No news on any of my other pending queries, for now.

While I'd like to continue to make progress on my novel, even if I accomplish nothing else for the rest of the year, I'd be quite happy with how I'm closing out 2018.

#WIPWednesday

Words!

I wrote words this week! It was such relief to get my fingers moving on the keyboard again.

My latest essay saw some more success this week, too, which was a much needed boost to this writer's self-esteem.

The essay was featured on TODAY Parents on Thursday. Then, it was shared on the official TODAY Show page on Friday (and again on Monday) and also on the Kathie Lee and Hoda page on Sunday. Both of those were a first for me! Those shares (plus a lot of love from my family, friends, and Facebook page fans) launched this piece up to my top three, in terms of social media reach.

The other query I mentioned last week received a response, as well. The site is interested in featuring the piece. Plus, they invited me to become a contributor! I submitted my first post for review yesterday.

A few days ago, I also decided to submit a query to have a different piece syndicated on another site I have not yet worked with. It can take up to a month to get a response from them.

It was payday on Medium and I got paid a few more bucks for my member stories in November. I do not have a huge following over there, I write infrequently, and I prefer to unlock my stories after two months, so even earning just a few dollars is really quite exciting.

As an essay writer, I feel the year is ending with a bang!

The novel's word count is now at 16,349 and, you know, I'm good with that.

I am well off the mark for the goals I originally set for myself, but the important thing is that I just stick with it and keep making progress. I can re-adjust my word count goals as many times as I need to, the real goal is to see it through to completion.

The challenges of the past couple of weeks are calming down (thank goodness) but I am not going to set myself up for failure and disappointment by expecting to make-up any ground the rest of this month. Between the holiday festivities and the kids' upcoming winter break, I know I will continue to fall short when it comes to writing every day. I'd just like to continue to be able to show progress each week.

#WIPWednesday

Grace.

I am giving myself the gift of grace this week.

I started to feel dispirited for not only failing to write every day the past few weeks, but for not even writing a single day – a single word – this week. I hadn't even opened the program since last #WIPWednesday until it was time to take the screenshot for this morning’s post.

I started to feel guilty about that. I started to feel like a failure – like I'd never see this through.

But, I stopped myself. I offered myself grace.

It has been a difficult couple of weeks over here. This past week even more so than the last.

Out of respect of my loved one’s privacy, I am not going to elaborate (even though I could easily write a few solid essays out of my related experiences).

Suffice it to say that my stress level was off the charts and the sleep deprivation was legit.

I went into what I call my “all business” mode. A coping mechanism I only recently recognized for what it is: emotional avoidance.

Though it is not the healthiest way of dealing with stress – and “all business” did not translate into getting any writing done – it did allow me to be there 100% for my loved one and still host Thanksgiving and even get our Christmas tree up on Sunday; all while having the kids home for Thanksgiving break plus an extra day when a blizzard cancelled school on Monday.

Giving myself grace allowed me to be content with how much I did accomplish in spite of everything. Because, believe me, there were days that simply managing the bare necessities was all I could muster.

And, I may not have written a word, but I did do a few writerly things.

I kept up with my social media goal to keep an active presence with a minimum of one post a day, even though I am behind on scheduling.

I made a few small updates to my blog.

I reorganized my query spreadsheet.

As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, one site had shown interest in syndicating my latest piece; Love What Matters accepted it and ran the feature on Friday.

After receiving a silent rejection for the other syndication query, this week I submitted it to a couple more sites, including one I've not yet worked with.

And I am here today, writing this #WIPWednesday post instead of just throwing up my hands.

#WIPWednesday

Life has been happening hard over here this week.

I didn't write much, but I did write. The novel's word count is now 15,312.

I did not write any new essays. I did not send any new queries. I did not receive any new rejections.

I don't have much to say this week, but I am still here!

#WIPWednesday

Welp. I was rolling in self-doubt this week.

Rolling. In. It.

I didn't keep track, but if I had, I'd be ashamed to admit how many hours I wasted just staring at that blinking cursor.

One of the reasons I was so excited about writing this novel was that I had never read, heard, or seen another utopian world like the one I dreamt up. I honestly thought I had a completely unique idea.

I should have known better.

In my researching, I came across a book written over 40 years ago. A book I had never heard of when my utopia took shape in my mind. I, of course, went to the library to check it out. My local library did not have the book; so, I requested it be sent from another library. It came. I read it.

A fascinating read, but one that sent me into a tailspin.

Even though the overall story is quite different than the one I am trying to write, there are several similarities. A few details nearly identical.

It was crushing. Absolutely crushing. Confusing. Conflicting. Do I change these details now? Are there other stories out there just as similar to the one I thought was entirely my own unique creation? Is there any point in trying to write my story anymore?

On top of that, I received the silent rejection of no reply during the stated time-frame from yet another publisher for my children's book manuscript.

Then, the essay I had submitted for publication a couple weeks ago was rejected. When I sent that off, I felt confident about it being a good fit for their audience. Getting another rejection was deflating.

I was disheartened. Disenchanted.

To be honest, I still am, a bit. But I am resolved not to give up.

I decided to keep writing my story, as I envisioned it. If need be, those details can be changed in the edits. But even keeping to my original vision has been a struggle. I am second-guessing everything. The story that I’ve been so enthralled with for months suddenly feels terribly flat. I know I just need to get this first rough draft done. I forced myself to put words on the page and managed to get the word count up to 13,757 this week.

Receiving another rejection for my children’s book was no surprise. The timing hurt, but it is still out for consideration with a few more publishers. There is hope, yet.

Feeling short on time for the rejected essay's topic, I decided to just self-publish the piece on Medium. It was quickly picked-up by Medium's curators to be a featured story in their Family section and has done well there. So, yesterday, I also submitted it to be considered for syndication on a couple sites – and one editor has already shown interest.

Then, Scary Mommy decided to run my first piece again, a wonderfully unexpected surprise. It still does really well on their page, gaining 1.9K reactions on their post alone and prompting over 350 more shares. Between the original on Scary Mommy and the syndication on That’s Inappropriate, this piece now has over 103.8K social media reactions in total!

And, the best part of the week was the couple of messages I got from friends – friends who had no idea that I was feeling discouraged – whose kind words of support and encouragement were a warm, gentle breeze in my sails, urging me to keep moving forward.

Here’s hoping this momentum carries me through the next week to some less choppy waters.

#WIPWednesday

I broke the 10,000 words milestone on the novel this week!

The current word count sits at 11,423. Not counted in that were over 1,000 more words added to my notes in an effort to better organize my thoughts.

The essay I submitted last week is still out for concideration. As is my children's book manuscript.

I also made a couple of new images (memes, I guess) to share on social media. I find those posts get the most interaction and sometimes it is nice to sum up a piece I have written (or even an idea I have on my list but don't yet want to devote time to writing) into one visual quote that easily gains visability.

#WIPWednesday

I added just shy of 3,000 words to my new novel project.

I did not write every day this week. I know. That didn't last long. My kids had a day and a half off school and I have yet to figure out how to focus on writing while they are home. I need to work on that before winter break.

I also had a day where I only added 13 words to the novel, though I did finish writing, editing, and submitting an 1,100-word essay for consideration. It felt good to get that out.

The piece I mentioned last #WIPWednesday was featured on Love What Matters on Friday. This was the third piece I had republished on their site. They have an audience over 7 million, so it is terrific exposure; each time I have gained new fans.

NaNoWriMo starts tomorrow, that's National Novel Writing Month, and while I do hope to write as much as I can in November, I am not officially participating. Lots of luck to my writer friends who are trying to reach that 50,000-word goal!

#WIPWednesday

The first 5,262 words of my new novel project are written! While I doubt very many of those words will ever see a final draft, I do feel like I am off to a good start.

My biggest accomplishment this week was that I actually, for the first time ever, wrote every day (well, every weekday, as intended). This is a huge step in the right direction for me. Even though I had a couple of days when other obligations left little time for writing, I made sure to sit down and squeeze in a few hundred words.

My biggest challenge so far has been not to get sucked into researching when I should be writing. With the sci-fi aspect of the book, I am finding that every few words I come to a point where I need a new name for some concept. At first, I was jumping on the internet, researching root words and languages every sentence or so. I realized pretty quickly that was not going to work. It disrupted the flow too much. So, now this rough draft is full of place holders – people, places, things, concepts, all identified with random letters and dashes. Seems like I will need to set aside specific research time to start filling in these blanks.

In other WIP news this week, I jotted down a couple of ideas for personal essays but I have not devoted any time to writing them, yet. I received a rejection to have one of my personal essays republished but was shown interest in another. And my children's book manuscript is currently still out for consideration with four publishers.

#WIPWednesday

Remember that story idea I dreamt up, probably as a coping mechanism to distract myself from current events? Well. I decided, even though the genre is well outside my writing comfort zone, I want to give it a shot.

This means my family history memoir is going to be pushed to the back-burner. Actually, let’s be honest, it had already been pushed to the back-burner, not because I had another big project to work on but because I wasn’t making it a priority. I still have a desire to tell that story. I will get it written, one day.

But, this new utopian world has captured my passion – I find the story occupying my thoughts day and night. For weeks, I have imagined, brainstormed, and researched. I have pages of notes.

Now, I am taking the next step.

I created a new project file to begin drafting and I even set goals for myself to see the project though (hopefully in a timely manner). Though I am not sharing those goals here for fear of feeling like a failure if I fall short.

The top of my weekly To Do List now reads: WRITE EVERY DAY. You’d think, as a writer, this would be a given, but you’d be surprised how often writing is pushed so far down my list that it doesn’t happen at all. I can’t keep allowing that to happen. I need to make writing a priority if I want to accomplish my goals.

I have also decided to start a weekly #WIPWednesday post to share what I have been up to with all my current works-in-progress, as well as to keep myself accountable.

Not only accountable, but encouraged, as well.

I easily get overwhelmed. I fixate on how much I have to do until it seems a huge and impossible undertaking. This is true of everything in my life, not just writing. I don't recognize how much progress I am making unless I take a moment to inventory my accomplishments.

A weekly check-in should keep me on track.

I know where I want this to end up, but I have no idea what the journey will be like to get there. I do hope you'll follow along with me as I find my way.

Dreaming of a Different World

..a better world.

It reads:

"What do you do when the family history memoir you have been struggling to write deals heavily in social issues that still are not resolved generations later and the weight of it all is too much to bear? 

Me? 

I dream up a new utopian future. 

Writing sci-fi is WAY outside my comfort zone but this story idea has me feeling all fluttery with excitement. 

I have spent the past couple days brainstorming, world-building, and researching as I toggle between giddiness and self-doubt. 

If nothing else, it has been a good distraction. But I truly hope I can turn these pages of notes into a book."

Top Writer in Parenting

“Top writer in Parenting”

Wait. What?!? How did that happen?

Four of my stories do have the parenting tag but none of them have done particularly well, compared to what I’ve seen on Medium. I have never had a piece break 1,000 claps. I have never had a piece with more than 50 fans.

To be honest, I don’t know what being a “Top writer in Parenting” on Medium really means. It seems one of my pieces with the parenting tag did something to trigger an algorithm and generate that little distinction on my profile.

You know what? I’m just gonna take it.

I’m not going to try to figure it out. I’m not going to overanalyze it.

I’m going to enjoy the little bit of excitement I felt upon seeing “Top writer in Parenting” below my name. It brought a smile to my face.

If you’d like to unravel the mystery of how this happened, check me out over on Medium: https://medium.com/@WriterEJoyce

(Not So) Flash Fiction

In early April, a Photo Prompt Flash Fiction Contest was announced in one of my writer groups. I had never written based off a photo prompt. I had never written anything categorized as flash fiction. Yet, I found myself intrigued.

Was this something I really wanted to do, a challenge I wanted to give myself? Or, was this just another way for me to procrastinate writing my book? (I had already gone weeks, again, without adding a single word.)

Simply put, flash fiction is a fictional short story with a specified word count. In the case of this contest, no more than 1,000 words based off of one of four photos (one for each of four different genres) and due by May 14th. This contest had no entry fee and a small chance at a modest prize and recognition – important factors in my decision (since I do not, at all, agree with giving original work away for free (if the publication will profit from it) or, worse, paying to have work considered or published).

I decided to go for it – to flex my long-dormant fiction-writing muscles.

I had more than a month, but I figured that it would be a pretty quick project. After all, on a good day, I can write a 1,000-word personal essay in an afternoon! It is called “flash” fiction, right?

Wrong.

Fiction proved more difficult than I remembered. Writing based off a photo prompt, more challenging than I anticipated.

I nearly threw in the towel, feeling like I was wasting too much time trying to create the perfect story. But, I didn’t want to give up. In the end, just days before the deadline, I went with the story I had, even though I felt like it fell short of my expectations.

This one was no prize-winner – but following through was an accomplishment to be proud of in itself.

That’s Inappropriate

Back in March, I was invited to a video conference call with some big names in the mom-writer world: Meredith of That’s Inappropriate and Meredith of Perfection Pending.

The night of the video conference call arrived, I installed the app, had everything all set up, ready to join.. and then my anxiety got the best of me.

*sigh*

Luckily, it was recorded and I was able to watch it that same night.

There were only a handful in the call, those invited were a select group they wanted to work with to launch a new venture.

I was shocked, honored, awe-struck and, to be honest, confused. How in the world did I get on any list with the rest of these writers?!? It had to be a mistake.

The other writers in the group had their own established mom blogs with followers in the thousands! At the time, I had only two parenting pieces published! I have no mom blog and I had less than 250 followers on all social media, combined!

It certainly felt like a mistake for me to be included in this group – but, I was beyond excited that I had been placed in such company! The two Merediths must see potential in me, to ask me to be a part of launching their new platform!

Meredith of That’s Inappropriate had decided to branch out and add a contributor platform to her already successful website; Meredith of Perfection Pending would be the editor. The new platform was set to launch on April 15th and I had a new, original piece scheduled for the 24th! Later, it was decided that my piece from 2016 would be syndicated, as well, and run on the 21st.

I was thrilled! And possibly in a bit of disbelief, seeing as how I haven’t shared this story until now.

Everything launched and my pieces were published according to plan. Yesterday, the new platform celebrated one month of being live and I was informed that my syndicated piece had the top pageviews of all the syndicated pieces in that first month!

I am so happy – and proud – to be a That’s Inappropriate contributor. Many thanks to Meredith and Meredith for including me in the group of writers who got it started!

Is This A Sign?

I don’t want to wax philosophical here, but I don’t necessarily believe in “signs.” Or, rather, I believe “signs” are entirely dependent on the person interpreting them – and people will interpret a thing in any number of ways to fit their needs, consciously or subconsciously.

That said, for someone who doesn’t believe in “signs,” I certainly second-guess myself a lot when things don’t go smoothly.

There is a special kind of torture I inflict upon myself after I have gone through the painstaking task of making a decision, set myself to work seeing it through, and then hit a snag.

Maybe I didn’t make the right decision after all? Maybe I should recognize this setback as an opportunity to course-correct? Is it folly to stick to my plan when it isn’t working out how I envisioned?

I do this for everything – big, important life decisions, same as little, everyday decisions – always have. When I hit a bump in the road, my mind begins to spin out-of-control with doubt.

Most recently, I made several decisions about my online presence as a writer. These decisions did not come quickly nor easily, but once I had made up my mind, I felt very comfortable and confident in my choices.

Then Facebook decided to glitch out when I submitted the name change request for my page. My request is stuck in some kind of limbo – I have received no emails from Facebook, my page support inbox is empty, yet, if I try to edit the name, I get a notice that it cannot be edited while there is a pending request. It has been like this for over five weeks now. I have no way of getting any actual support to address the issue – all my attempts are filtered into Facebook’s “feedback” system and generate generic responses that offer no solution.

*Cue mind spinning out-of-control with doubt.*

Did I make the wrong decision? Is this my chance to course-correct? Should I just keep the Facebook page named after my blog? Am I taking my whole online presence as a writer in the wrong direction?

I was so confident in the decisions I had made, in the direction I was going, but this setback had me second-guessing it all.

It has been exhausting.

Oftentimes, when a plan doesn’t go smoothly and the doubt sets in, I will abandon an idea or push it to a back burner. (See the time I had trouble submitting a piece for publication and then never tried to submit it anywhere ever again.)

But, whether or not I choose to see this as a “sign” is entirely up to me. If I do choose to see it as a “sign,” then it is also entirely up to me to interpret it.

Is this really the universe telling me I have made a mistake? Or, is it just a glitch in the system that I need to be patient about or find a way to work-around?

Finally, after weeks of wrestling with it, I decided that, this time, I am going to stick to my plan.

I still feel confident that the right decision is to shift the focus off of my blog and onto myself as a writer. But, I’ll still be stuck here in limbo until Facebook does something to get my request moving again.

Time to practice my patience, I guess.

Give Credit Where It’s Due

I am the first to admit that I am not as original as I once thought I was. Every clever idea I have come up with in the past decade, the first person I excitedly share it with says something along the lines of, “Oh yeah, I saw that on Pinterest.” What? Really? Before the age of social media, I honestly thought I had completely unique ideas. Now, I know that most things that are thought up have been thought of before. When you consider the fact that there are billions of people in the world, it makes sense that multitudes could organically and independently come up with similar ideas.

This is as true in writing as anything else. At first, I would be disheartened and discouraged when I saw a story on the same topic as one I had just written. Now, I recognize that even though a subject or topic might be the same, what makes each piece unique is the writer — their experiences, perspective, and voice are unlike any other’s.

I have come to not only accept but also expect that any topic I feel compelled to write about has surely been written about before and will definitely be written about again. And I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with that.

It is one thing, however, to write on the same topic or share a similar story with another writer, it is completely another to flat out steal someone else’s work. Over the past few weeks, time and time again, I’ve been left shaking my head in dismay over some very troubling trends in this area.

Read the rest of this story on Medium.

Rejection Received

Welp. I received a rejection letter for my children's book. I was expecting it because, honestly, what are the odds of my very first manuscript being picked up on my very first query?!? I am a realist.

Still, I was a bit deflated.

The rejection came in the evening, just as we were starting the kids’ school-night routine, and seriously seconds after my husband yelled down to inform me that the cat had peed on our bed.

I was having a great day. Was. Now I just wanted a hot shower and a chocolate milkshake. I didn’t get the milkshake. All I could do was sleep it off – once our bed was all clean and put back together, that is. Whose idea was it to get a cat, anyway? (Hint: It was mine.)

I woke up with resolve.

I expected this rejection. I have a whole list of publishers I think would be a good match for my children’s book. So, I set to the task of drafting more query letters. I submitted to four publishers that allow simultaneous submissions. Though I hardly dare to imagine it being accepted on this second round, I started feeling better once I got it back out there for consideration.

Then, a wonderful thing happened. A friend in my writers’ group reminded me that many aspiring authors never even get to this point. And, I actually began to feel a bit proud of my rejection letter. It is proof that I am putting in the effort. I am doing it.

As Sylvia Plath said, “I love my rejection slips. They show me I try.”

Presenting Myself

About three months ago, I thought, “But maybe I will,” and decided to go for it. About two months ago, I began confidently saying, “I am a writer.” But, for the past couple weeks, I have hardly written at all. I have been increasingly conscious of how I am presenting myself – to readers, to editors, to the world.

Social media is not my thing. I am sure you have all picked up on that by now. I just want to write. I would rather not spend my time and energy on building and maintaining a social media presence. But, it is a necessity to support my writing aspirations. So, I have been seeking a balance that works for me, knowing very well I will never be as successful as those who master social media and also knowing, if I tried, I would quickly burn out.

That said, social media consumed much of my time the past couple weeks. I kept telling myself that if I could just get it sorted out, then it would be done and I could move on. Of course, that isn’t the case. It will never be done. I will always need to keep engaging. There is always something to improve. But, I needed to tell myself that if I could just set a good foundation, it would be on auto-pilot for a while.

There is so much to decide, so much to consider about how I am engaging and connecting with others, how I am presenting myself. I immediately began to over-analyze and question everything.

Should my Facebook page be titled after my blog or with my name? Should my posts be all about writing or should it be an eclectic mix of the different topics I cover when I write? Should I change the design of my blog? Am I damaging my image by not having a custom domain? I even began contemplating mailing lists!

There was much over-thinking, indecision, and polling of family and friends. I am grateful for the valuable feedback I was offered, but the opinions were split and, ultimately, these were decisions I had to make.

There were two realizations that allowed me to make some progress. First, nothing I decide now needs to be final. It is not a big deal if I change my mind and readjust in the future. Second, my reason for doing it all is to promote myself as a writer. I am not trying to promote my blog. My blogs are truly old school weblog style – I am posting an online journal of my thoughts, nothing more. They are an outlet but not my product.

With that in mind, I got many (non-writing) things accomplished:

• I redesigned the layout of my blog. This started as a very basic, single page, blog but I now need it to serve as a portfolio of sorts, as well. To accommodate this, and keep it uncluttered, I removed the sidebar and created new pages: Bio, Published, and Works-in-Progress. I also added a contact form and even went ahead and added a mailing list form (though I am not yet going to be drafting any newsletters). Social media links were created for both the footer and the navbar and (I am quite proud of this) I enabled the navbar to float. I have picked up some basic HTML through the years, but I really had to dive into the code to get that to work.

• I improved my bio. My bio is a reader’s first glimpse of who I am and what else I have to offer. So, I spent some time attempting to craft a better bio in hopes of getting more readers to click through and connect with me further.

• I submitted a name change request for my Facebook page. This was one of the hardest decisions. I originally named it I May Never Write A Book but it seemed clear that I should be promoting myself as a writer and not this blog which is merely an outlet. I went through several ideas of how to use my name; Elizabeth Joyce {Writer} was what I settled on, only to find out it is not allowed. Also not allowed were: Elizabeth Joyce [Writer] and Elizabeth Joyce (Writer). I thought Elizabeth Joyce - Writer looked like a hyphenated surname and I never had a good feeling about Elizabeth Joyce, Writer. So, I ended up with Writer Elizabeth Joyce, which was one of my first favs but had been eliminated.

• I created a Facebook group. This was not something I was expecting to do. One of the things I liked about having my Facebook page called I May Never Write A Book was that I hoped it would appeal to fellow writers who would follow along and, hopefully, find some encouragement and enjoy the commiseration. I didn’t want to give that up, but gearing my page towards fellow writers served to limit interest from non-writers, readers who just happened to click through to my page. One morning, it came to me – I should have a group for writers connected to my page. With that, it all fell into place and I felt like I was making the right decision to change the Facebook page name. (Wish me luck with admining a group, though!)

All of this will continue to evolve as I continue on this adventure; I am still barely launched. You’ll notice I have not addressed all the nagging questions yet, either. But I am glad to feel like the foundation is set. I can move on, at least for a while, and focus again on writing.

Medium

Last week, as I was scrolling through my feed, I took notice of an article saying Medium is the best place for writers. That obviously peaked my interest. I clicked through, read the piece, and was convinced that I should look into Medium for myself. I must say, I like what I found.

Medium is a self-publishing platform that supports a wide variety of topics. Much like I wrote about the TODAY Parenting Team, using self-publishing platforms is like writing a piece for my own blog without needing to maintain a blog in the niche. But, unlike other platforms, Medium does not have ads – something I truly appreciate.

From what I have gathered, the site is trying to create a space where readers can read without the clutter and distraction of ads, as well as a place where writers can write focused on content and not for the sake of trying to cram in as many keywords as possible to drive up ad revenues. Instead, Medium is now funded by $5/month membership fees. Non-members have access to up to three articles a month and are even allowed to create a profile and publish their own work – all completely free of charge. Anyone can become a member, but I suspect the majority of the members are writers themselves. Members have access to unlimited articles, as well as some other special features, but what I find as the most compelling benefit of becoming a member of Medium is that it supports fellow writers.

Self-publishing on Medium is like offering up my writings for peer review. If enough members read my piece and "clap" for it, I can actually get paid. While other platforms have ads and keep all the revenue for themselves, Medium is saying, no ads and we'll even offer a portion of our membership fees to support our writers. I. Love. This.

The idea of giving my work away for free has never sat well with me. I understand the need for websites to cover their costs, but it does not feel right for them to profit without any compensation to those generating the content. Offer me something for my efforts and my intellectual property. Offer me a flat rate. Offer me a tiered pay scale based on performance. Offer me the opportunity to be rewarded only if my piece does well. Offer me anything that shows my work is valued and I, as a writer, am respected.

I love the writers-supporting-writers concept. It is still fairly new; Medium has been around since 2012 but it only started rolling out this system last year. It is evolving and has already been through some changes. I am intrigued by their model and I'm looking forward to seeing what becomes of it.

I decided to dip my toe into Medium's waters by syndicating a personal essay I originally wrote for this blog. I am still new to all of this and learning as I go, but this platform seems promising.

Writer and Author

I know the title of this blog is, I May Never Write A Book, but that is exactly what I am currently trying to do.

When I first started this blog, it was for the sake of one post titled, I May Never Write A Book, in which I shared how I had always envisioned myself writing books but that I had no desire to attempt it and, instead, had stumbled upon the chance to have an article published on Scary Mommy. That was nearly 2 years ago.

I took a long hiatus but came back to writing at the beginning of this year, thinking But Maybe I Will write a book.

And, actually, I did write a book. My very first book was not one I had been intending to write. A line came to me out-of-the-blue and I felt the need to see it through. I crafted what turned out to be a poem that, as I read it, I very clearly envisioned as a beautifully illustrated picture book. And so, I forged my way through the process of editing, gathering feedback from beta readers, revising, formatting, researching publishers, and then, I sent off my very first manuscript for consideration and began Waiting For Rejection.

Before that line came to me and ignited the fascinating process by which this poem, this story, this picture book, took shape, I had been tossing around a few other ideas that stemmed from my family history research. None were picture books nor poetry – all were either historical fiction or non-fiction chapter books or short story collections.

I continued to toss around those other book ideas in my mind until it became clear which story I had the most desire to tell. I then began my first attempt at writing a non-fiction family history memoir. I am currently working on the first draft and expect this to be a very long process of writing and researching – my husband thinks three years is a reasonable estimate.

Three years sounds daunting. Perhaps I May Never Write A Book should now be I May Never Write *This* Book. I am determined to see this book through to completion, though, however long it takes.

Edit October 2018: I have decided to pursue a novel idea, putting the family history memoir on hiatus. I am determined to finish both of these books, however long it takes.

In the meantime, I find it satisfying to work on shorter pieces that have a quicker turn-around. I continue to send queries as a freelance writer and to write personal essays and blog posts which I self-publish on various platforms. I even have another picture book story in mind, now.

I will keep I May Never Write A Book as my blog title to remind me of how far I've come. And I hope it will encourage fellow writers to continue on their own writing journeys as they follow along with me on mine.

Writing With Anxiety

The other night, my mind replayed a scene in which, during the flow of conversation, I said something that lacked compassion to a friend. There was no rebuttal; the conversation continued without pause, but that friend surely thinks I am a terrible person and secretly resents me. I have played the scene over in my head countless times since it happened – 21 years ago.

Anxiety causes me to helplessly relive moments – from days ago or decades ago – seeing only the worst of myself. It also causes me to overthink and overanalyze everything as I am doing it. My thoughts race. I don’t want to create another situation for my mind to add to that relentless reel. Sometimes being in the moment, saying or doing anything is absolutely overwhelming.

I am certain this is why I have always preferred writing over conversations. When I write, I can take my time. I can sort through my thoughts. I can edit.

Still, deciding to pursue my dream of being a writer, of making my writings public, means pushing myself well beyond the borders of my comfort zone. It means forcing myself to stay out there, exposed and vulnerable. Unlike a conversation between two friends, 21 years ago, the published written word stays accessible to everyone, indefinitely. That thought can paralyze me.

As a writer, I want – and need – to be authentic. All writers have access to the same words, the only thing that makes me unique as a writer is my voice. My experiences, my perspective, the soul of me – that is what gives the words true meaning.

However, offering myself up in words to the masses is more of a challenge than I imagined.

Every sentence I write, my mind is flooded with all the possibilities of how people will respond. It can take me hours to string together a mere 500 words. I often avoid the topics about which I am most passionate. I have written complete essays that I cannot bring myself to publish; I feel too vulnerable and the anxiety is more than I can overcome.

When I do find the courage to submit a piece for publication, I brace myself for rejection, barely daring to risk a daydream in which I am successful. I recite my query letter over and over until I have convinced myself that every word of it was wrong and I have made the worst possible impression. With each post I make on social media, I question if prospective editors or publishers will see it and base their decision off my social media presence – or lack thereof, which keeps me attempting to craft posts even though it would be easier to avoid social media altogether. Typos, grammatical errors, and mistakes can trigger panic.

Every finished work I do publish incites an onslaught of anxiety’s manifestations. I have put myself out there and there is no turning back. The comments, the reviews, the judgment – I am politely inviting the public to grant my worst nightmare so that I can live my dream.

That’s it, right there. Writing with anxiety is politely inviting the public to grant my worst nightmare so that I can live my dream. I will continue to make that sadistic request because I do want to be a writer despite the anxiety. I realize that anxiety shines a spotlight on everything negative, leaving all things positive in the dark. The truth is, the positives are far more numerous than the negatives – if only I can allow my mind to count them.

Ready To Take On Another Day

Yesterday was reaffirming – like a breath of fresh air just when I was beginning to choke on the stale, heavy atmosphere of self-doubt.

I was getting discouraged. I felt like I was doing the whole social-media-as-a-writer thing wrong. I was stuck on editing a small, personal piece and my anxieties about sharing so much of myself through my writings were inflamed. I was questioning everything about my book and doubting my ability to tell the story. I began to fear I had made a mistake by so publicly declaring my intentions to be a writer – I would end up looking like a failure and fraud.

But then, the #amwriting community was spreading encouragement to fellow writers. A friend helped me work through my editing. My husband patiently listened as I vented about my book writing woes. My family history mentor messaged me with an amazing discovery that directly impacts my book (if I ever do finish writing it, she gets a shoutout in the acknowledgments, for sure)! And, then, I noticed that TODAY Parents had shared my piece from their “Romance After Kids“ challenge!

I ended the day feeling invigorated and ready to take on another day as a writer.

I can do this.

Waiting for Rejection

I am a pessimist. I don’t think that is a bad thing. Believe me, I know about the power of positivity; I am all for sending good vibes out into the universe. Pessimism fits me, though. To me, my pessimism truly feels like being realistic. I’m just keepin’ it real. I’d rather be pleasantly surprised than sorely disappointed and I cope best when I am keeping my expectations low.

Ten days ago, I did something big. Huge.

I sent my first ever manuscript to a publisher for consideration.

Woah.

I did it. I wrote it. I edited it. I had others critique it. I edited it again. I formatted it. I researched publishers. I found one that set my heart aflutter. I penned my cover letter. I sent it off.

Then, the waiting began.

Most publishers take several months to get back to writers – if they get back to them at all. Often it is simply understood that if you don’t hear from them, they’re not interested.

I have been trying to patiently manage my emotions – and my expectations. I remind myself, chances are I will not get a book published on my very first try. More than likely, they are going to pass, and the next publisher is going to pass, and the next, and the next. This book will probably never get published. Pretty much, I am just waiting for the rejection to happen.

Thanks to my pessimism, I think I will be prepared to cope with that rejection. After all, it is the most realistic outcome.

Still, every once in a while, my mind wanders into the realm of wonderful possibilities and I find myself with a little smile on my face at the thought that maybe, just maybe, they will be interested.

Another Platform

I joined the TODAY Parenting Team last night. It was kind of on a whim, to be honest. I had not been planning to join. I have come across the website before, but I am still choosing not to submit my work to sites that do not offer some form of compensation. Last night, clicking through articles in my news feed landed me on the TODAY website again. I read a little deeper into the process and ended up seeing the platform in a different light.

The Parenting Team is an online community that falls under the umbrella of the TODAY Show; it is free to join and provides an easy, accessible platform for writers. It is not quite the same as writing a piece for someone else's website. It feels more like writing a piece for my own blog without needing the blog. I'll admit, TODAY is still making money through advertising while I make none. However, their platform offers an outlet for my writings that do not fit here (where I write about my adventures in writing) but that I want to share without going through the process of querying to have published. It provides a place for me to share my writings on a variety of topics without having to create and maintain a blog within the niche.

Like I said before, I know I am doing it wrong, but I am going to keep on doing it my way. I don't want to get locked into a niche. I don't want to spend more time maintaining and promoting a website than I do actually writing. I don't even want to be confined to one type of writing – blog posts, articles, short stories, poems, books – I want to write whatever I feel the need and desire to write.

Their writing prompts and challenges even encourage writers to write – which is what prompted me to write my first post over there. I noticed their featured challenge:

Romance After Kids 

We'd love to get your thoughts about keeping love alive post-kids. How do you and your partner make time for each other? How can romance be sustained against a backdrop of sleep deprivation and homework battles? How have you seen your love grow even stronger with the passage of time and the addition of children? Please share your thoughts and feelings in this challenge because we’re all in this together!

So, I wrote up this piece: My Husband and I Still Celebrate Our Moversary.

I am glad I lingered on the TODAY Parenting Team website long enough to give it another thought. It is a fantastic platform for a writer like me.

Timely

My most recent article has been published on Perfection Pending. This piece was a challenge in that it ended up being so time-sensitive; I am truly grateful to the editor of Perfection Pending for being very quick to get it published!

As my article says, Facebook's Messenger Kids app launched a preview build in December. The internet was abuzz with coverage of the announcement coming from all variety sources: Scary Mommy, Tech Crunch, The Verge, New York Times, Reuters, Techaeris, websites big and small, local news – it was everywhere.

I was excited about the new app; it was just what we had been looking for when my son got his own hand-me-down cell phone about 6 months earlier. Though, right away, I noticed that all the top comments, across all the different types of sites, were flagrantly negative.

"No child under 16 should be using any type of social media including FB. Parents purchasing their children smart phones are ridiculous." - a commenter on New York Times

"Why would anyone allow Children under 13 use mobile phones and tablet?" - a commenter on Tech Crunch

"Sorry, but I cannot believe ANYONE (parents, educators, government etc) would even allow youngsters under about 12 (min) near social media. So so wrong.. Kids should ONLY interact with others in person, or via voice on the phone..." - a commenter on The Verge

"What in the hell ?!! Why would a 7 year old need to be on Facebook 😡!!" - a commenter on Reuters

But most comments were simply like these on Scary Mommy:
"Nope. Not in my house."
"Nope not happening."
"Nope. Just nope."
"Hell no!"
"Nope."
"No."

Still, we downloaded it. We used it. We liked it. So, after having it for more than a month, I thought, "Hey. I should write a piece about why I like it." And I did. I finished the final draft and, wouldn't you know, the very next morning it is all over the internet again! This time, because a group of 100 child advocates and experts wrote a letter to Facebook urging them to kill the app. This, obviously, fanned the flames of the negative comments.

I re-worked my article with the new information and now felt a sense of urgency to get it published. Though I wouldn't usually do simultaneous submissions (I'm pretty sure that is frowned upon by editors), I sent my pitch off to five different outlets, labeling it as timely and letting them know I had pitched to multiple sites.

I was thrilled when Perfection Pending got back to me quickly. Still, the next few days, I kept fretting over the possibility someone else was going to publish a similar article first and mine would be white noise, or there would be some announcement or development and my piece would be old news.

Sure enough, the morning before my piece was set to go live, I was seeing it in the news again! Turns out yesterday was #SaferInternetDay. The hashtag spurred on more discussion of the app and while many were still against it, there were a few more voices starting to speak out in support of Facebook's Messenger Kids app as the safest messaging option available to kids.

I am grateful for the timing and I hope my article – my voice – will be among those circulating as the discussion and debate continue.

I Am A Writer

It was about three weeks ago when I decided I wanted to start writing more. I had been thinking to myself, "I'd love to be able to call myself a writer. That's what I want to do. I should just do it."

Still, I felt unsure as I brought it up to my husband. Is it just a waste of time? What if I never get anything else published? I probably won't make any money from it.

"I want you to write," he said. "I told you that before."

He had told me that before, but it was lost in the noise, drowned out by my own self-doubt, and forgotten. His words, his sincere tone, were just what I needed to hear – that he would not think it frivolous of me to pursue writing more. He genuinely supports me (and that is just one of a plethora of reasons I love him so).

I was simply exhilarated as I threw myself into it. You know the feeling when you are so excited and passionate about something that you completely immerse yourself. I was practically fangirling about writing.

I wrote pages of story ideas and notes. I researched. I read. I wrote some more. I researched some more.

I decided to branch out out with my pitch to become a KidTripster contributor. That success further incited my enthusiasm.

I made it official – taking my headshot portrait, building my Facebook page, linking, liking, trying to establish a (small) social media presence.

I sent off two idea pitches; one was rejected, the other has a 6-8 month response window.

I wrote two more pieces. One is in its second draft; I plan to get the final draft done this week. The other is finished; I pitched it to five different outlets and received a response from one within 24 hours that they were interested in publishing it! It should go live tomorrow evening. I am giddy, I tell you. Giddy!

Writing it all out, I realize how much I have done in just three weeks. It never felt like work. It was exactly what I wanted to be doing. I have no delusions that I can keep up this pace indefinitely, but now I have confirmation that it can be done. I can do it.

And now, if someone asks what I do, I confidently say, "I'm a writer."

I Just Want To Write

I know I am doing it wrong.

I am well aware "they" all say that if I want to be a real writer, I need to market myself -- I need to have a professional (read: paid) website and domain name, I need to be active on at least a few social media platforms, I need to network, I need to cultivate backlinks. Here's the thing, though, I am not in this to turn myself into a business or a brand – I just want to write.

None of that is for me. I barely like posting on my own personal Facebook page, I am most comfortable giving out my thumbs-up to others without comment. The Twitter account I started years ago had a grand total of one tweet, and I never even started accounts for Pinterest, or Instagram, or any of the others. Keeping up with all those things to market myself as a writer would turn my passion into a slog. Some people love to post on social media and thrive on it. I am not those people. The demands of self-promotion would easily overshadow my writing and completely drain me.

Social media shares and likes are essential to a writer, though. The best way to pitch current work is to refer back to how many reactions a previous piece received. Those clicks, likes, comments, and shares equal reach and impact. I recognize this and I am making an effort. I now have a headshot. I set up a writer Facebook page. I even converted my never-used Twitter. I have been on social media more this past week than I was for the entirety of the last year!

When "they" say I need to do all those things to make it, I believe them. I trust their expertise. Still, I am going to go my own way. I fully expect that I will never have as much success as those who do it all -- but I believe I can find a satisfying balance for myself and, most importantly, retain my passion.

After all, I just want to write.

Branching Out

I still have all those book ideas tumbling around in my head. I still have not started writing a book. I did, however, decide to branch out with more freelance writing.

I took notice of the website, KidTripster, thanks to one of my online friends who has been a contributor of their's for over a year. I don't know why it didn't occur to me sooner to reach out to her. I already enjoy writing about our travels on my own blog – writing more in-depth reviews for a travel website is a perfect fit!

My friend recommended that I contact the editor. Having very little to show in the way of published work, I wrote up a sample piece in the style of the website and sent it off with an introduction. With my friend's good word and my sample work, I was accepted to be a contributor!

I will be looking for opportunities to write for them whenever we travel.

But Maybe I Will

For the past year, I wrote only for myself – and not nearly as often as I would have liked. The bulk of my writing was sharing my family's travel experiences on Joyce Family Travels, which I truly enjoyed. I wrote a little for my private blog, as well. Occasionally, I would google to see what sort of websites were accepting submissions, but either there was no offer of payment or I had no knowledge, insight or desire to write on the subject.

So, a year passed, just like that.

Lately, I have been thinking, again, about writing for publication. I may be at a point where I'd like to submit more of my work but I still hesitate to put too much time into writing for other people without any form of compensation and I have yet to find a good fit listed among sites that do offer payment.

Then, I began toying with the idea of writing a book. An idea that I have toyed with for as long as I can remember. The subject and style of said imagined book is as varied as the years that have passed imagining it, but I always come back to the idea of writing a book.

It seems a daunting task at the moment, yet I find it often occupying my thoughts. Which of my ideas would other people actually be interested in reading? Which of my ideas would I be most likely to follow through to completion? How much of a time commitment will it end up being? Am I willing to write a book that may never be published?

I have always imagined that I would spend months and years writing a book and sending it to publishers, only to have it rejected by everyone. That, however, is an antiquated concern. These days there are eBooks, and getting published online is only a matter of choosing which method to use. If I write a book, it can be published as an eBook. But will it be lost in the vast ocean of options and never seen by anyone? Will anyone actually pay to download it? Will I have to give it away for free and still face the possibility that no one wants to read it?

One thing is certain. If I do decide to write a book, it has to be a book I want to write because it is a story I want to tell. Much like my blogs, I need to write it from a position of me writing for my own sake and not be concerned about if it will attract a readership.

I may never write a book – but maybe I will.