24 April 2019

#WIPWednesday

It has been another incredible week, in another fabulous month, in what has been an amazing start to 2019, after a 2018 that was better than I dared to hope at the beginning.

I almost lost sight of that this week.

I made the mistake of looking at a few comments when one of my essays was shared on a page with over 2 million followers. I should never read the comments. I know this. Even when there are several wonderful, lovely, supportive comments, just one negative remark will be what takes root in my mind. In this case, there were more negative comments than positive ones (at least in the first few scrolls, before I stopped myself).

On top of that, I have been feeling guilty, flaky, and like a failure for not working on writing one of my books. And, I received another rejection (there are rejections every week), this one for a poetry submission.

It is easy for me to get caught up in the rejections, to dwell on my failures and short-comings.

But, what I need to remember is, while I have missed the mark on many of my goals (especially with my book-writing aspirations), that doesn't diminish the things that I have achieved.

Just as I give more weight to negative comments, I also tend to downplay my successes – I was lucky, fortunate. While that is true, these things didn't just fall into my lap. I worked hard to make them happen. I have weathered every negative comment, stayed afloat in a sea of rejections, and I continue to work hard, reaching for that next success.

So, I am going to allow myself a moment to feel proud.

This week I became a new contributor to two more sites: Sammiches & Psych Meds and Thought Catalog! I can remember looking at fellow writers' collections of contributor badges, when I was first starting out, and feeling like I'd never be that successful. My collection is now just as extensive. If you are a new writer happening upon my page, please know that you can, absolutely, do it, too. It just takes time – and a lot of queries.

I also had other essays syndicated this week on The Good Men Project and TODAY Parents.

In April, alone, I had two new essays published and ten syndications across eight different sites.

Of that – and everything I've accomplished so far – I am proud.

17 April 2019

#WIPWednesday

It has been another great week for me as an essayist!

I published a new piece on Medium about cutting cable – a much lighter read than my last few. I actually started this one nearly a year ago, but let it sit in my drafts until this week when the announcement of the cost of Disney's upcoming streaming service and the premiere of the final season of Game of Thrones prompted me to revisit the piece. It was a nice break from the heavily emotional pieces I've been working on this past month. It was syndicated on InspireMore, as well.

My essay about how my husband and I never say, "I love you, too," was syndicated on Filter Free Parents, this week. That piece has now reached over 2K views on Medium.

My recent essay about acknowledging the trauma of my son's birth got a good start on Medium and was then picked up by Scary Mommy. I've had women reaching out to me, letting me know they can relate to my experience, thanking me for sharing my story. It is an incredible experience, as a writer, to have someone reach out to thank you for writing.

This was my third piece on Scary Mommy. It is always a thrill to be up on such a well-known site with an audience of millions.

It used to be that I could count on an influx of Facebook page likes when I had a piece up on a big site like Scary Mommy or Love What Matters.

I've found though, lately, even when I am fortunate enough to have a piece up on a site with millions of followers, I am not seeing many new likes or follows on my social media pages.

I've been getting better at trying not to care about the numbers – to simply do my thing and let whatever happens, happen – but it is so hard not to notice. And it doesn't help that writers are constantly reminded they need a solid social media following and an extensive mailing list to be successful.

It feels like all of social media is in some sort of transitional state – everything is up in the air, floating around, there is no rhyme or reason, nothing to grab on to. I wonder how it will settle.

The decrease in social media interaction also makes it more difficult for me to gauge just how successful a piece is. I mostly rely on Muck Rack to show me how many social media reactions a piece has garnered; however, those numbers are steadily low despite page views being high for some pieces. Unfortunately, I only have access to page view stats on a few of the platforms I work with. So, this week, I created a new spreadsheet to better to visualize and estimate how well my pieces are performing.

I did receive a couple of essay rejections this week from both original and syndication queries. The cold pitch I mentioned a couple weeks ago went unanswered, so I am still querying that piece. And I received an acceptance to have an essay syndicated in the near future on another site I have not yet worked with, which I am excited for.

Beyond essays, I also submitted my latest flash fiction piece for consideration in another anthology. I submitted a poem for consideration in a poetry collection, as well.

And, after all that talk last week, I did add a couple hundred words to my family history memoir this week. I have all the chapters for that book outlined and started, I just need to fill in the story.

10 April 2019

#WIPWednesday

I revisited my family history memoir WIP this week. I also thought up a new idea for a collection of biographical short stories based on the lives of my ancestors.

I know.

Believe me, I know.

First, I say I am writing a family history memoir. Then, I end up working on a children's book manuscript. Then, I try to pick up the family history memoir again. Then, I put that on hiatus as I begin drafting a speculative fiction novel. Now, here I am saying I'm revisiting the family history memoir again, and I've come up with yet another idea!

And, in the middle of it all, I am writing personal essays and poems and even throwing in the occasional flash fiction story.

Here's the thing: All of these projects are important to me; each speaks to a different facet of my personality and utilizes a different style of writing.

The family history memoir (as well as the new idea) is creative non-fiction. It is akin to the personal essays I am most comfortable writing but instead of sharing my story, I am trying to share the stories of others. It requires research into actual people, places, and events. It is investigative and highly satisfying to work on when I am in that mind-space.

The children's book was born of a poem. I often have the desire, the urge, to write poetry. This was just the first time I felt the poem had the potential to be something more.

The speculative fiction novel is the most challenging for me. I have the least experience with writing fiction. Unlike my the family history memoir, where I am researching historical facts, unlike my personal essays, where I am sharing my truths and first-hand accounts, and unlike my poetry which flows from my feelings and emotions – with fiction I need to imagine and create every detail of an entire world. I love the world I've drempt up and I want so badly to do it justice and be able to share it one day, but I easily get caught-up in self-doubt. I often find myself not in the right state-of-mind to imagine and instead crave facts.

The longer I am pursuing writing as an occupation, the more I am recognizing my own patterns – my strengths and weaknesses.

While it certainly would be more efficient for me to pick one project and see it through to completion, that style doesn't work for me. Just as I know I could never confine myself to a niche or stick to one genre.

I need the mental breaks. I need the satisfaction of quick turn-around pieces like essays and poems. I need the challenges of research and world-building. And I need them all mixed up so that when one project starts to feel stale, I can have the thrill of switching to another. And I can keep doing this until each project is done.

It will take so much longer this way, but I will enjoy it more. And I am fortunate enough to be able to pursue the writing that I find most enjoyable and satisfying. So, why shouldn't I?

I think this newfound realization and approach will serve me well and free me from some of the guilt I feel when project-hopping.

In other progress this week...

Filter Free Parents syndicated one of my essays this week; it was my first on the new site since Perfection Pending and That's Inappropriate their combined contributor platforms. I'm grateful to have a piece run with them again.

I also had my very first essay syndicated again, this time on Her View From Home. It is my first piece on HVFH and I am happy to be able to add them to the list of sites I've been published on.

I finished that 1,500 word essay I mentioned last week and published it on Medium. It was curated by the Medium editors onto their "Parenting" page, which means it will get much more exposure. Parenting seemed an odd choice, but I believe pregnancy and childbirth must fall under that category.

I queried two more pieces for syndication, this week.

And I received my first paper rejection letter for my children's book manuscript. As well as another silent rejection by way of the stated time window elapsing. I am down to just two pending queries for the manuscript and need to decide to either submit to more children's book publishers or to try children's magazines which feature poetry. I am leaning towards giving magazines a try.

03 April 2019

#WIPWednesday

April is National Poetry Month. I've been reading through some of my older poems again, recently. I am sometimes caught by the realization that even though I do not remember exactly what prompted the words I wrote, they still hold context and evoke familiar feelings, even decades later.

Similarly, this week I was reminded, once again, of the weakness of my memory.

A Facebook Memory popped up and prompted me to want to jot down a quick caption to share it. When I realized that had reached 1,000 words, I knew I needed to set it aside to turn into an essay. I started over and did manage an appropriate-length caption to share the memory on my page. But, when I returned to craft those 1,000 words into an essay, I decided I needed to look back into my old personal journals and photographs to make sure I was getting the details correct, as I need to do with most everything. While I was remembering the major points accurately, I was struck, once again, by just how many other details I had completely forgotten.

The essay is now 1,500 words. I believe it will be ready for me to share next week.

I did resubmit the essay I mentioned receiving a rejection for last week. It was a cold pitch to a site I have not yet worked with. It is hard to know how long to give a cold pitch before moving on but I think I'll give it another week, at least. (For those unfamiliar with the lingo, a cold pitch simply means that the site did not have out a call for submissions nor info about how to submit or apply to become a contributor, so the writer emails the editor and hopes for a response.)

I received another rejection for my children's book this week, but of a different variety. This one took the form of an email informing me that the publishing company was closing their business after 23 years. My manuscript is still outstanding with four children's book publishers. I will need to submit it to more soon, though I am toying with the idea of trying it for children's magazines, instead.

This week, I also converted a couple of old Facebook posts into an essay for InspireMore, which was published on the 27th, and I made some more Instagram images, as well.

I have at least one syndicated piece scheduled to go live in the coming days, my first for that site, so I am looking forward to that and hoping it performs well.