At this point in my life, I have no aspirations to write children's books as I did in my youth or college years. Nor do I have any desire to write a book, as I once did, about our crazy journey to becoming a family -- falling in love, getting engaged, cancer diagnosis, preservation of fertility options, cancer remission, IVF/FET, complications and near-death during childbirth, gestational surrogacy, and still ending up with the family we always dreamed of. "Of course, there is so much more than this to who I am.. but this is what I'll focus on when I write my book," is what the final line of my Facebook bio has read for years.
I may never write a book.
Though I may imagine and quip, I may never actually want to write a book.
But, I enjoy writing.
I am compelled to journal about our lives and write blog posts and essays that sprinkle my personality about for others to discover. I strive to be understood. Mostly, I write because I hope that I will be remembered. Whether I live to be 100 and celebrate my 75th wedding anniversary with John, as I hope to do, or I die in a freak accident tomorrow, or if my death falls somewhere in the middle, as is most likely, I want my kids, my loved ones -- present and future generations -- to have a chance to know me better.
It is a bit selfish, I suppose, to hope to be understood, to hope to be known better, to hope to be remembered. Whether or not that it the result, I find writing to be therapeutic. I feel almost a sense of relief when I can take something that has been bouncing around in my head and write it out.
Often, my writings probably hold little appeal to anyone. I write about memories I want preserved and my thoughts and opinions. I do not begin to presume I am important enough that these things matter to the masses. But, occasionally, I have something to share that may have a broader appeal. And, almost on a whim, I decided to explore that a few weeks ago.
I was scrolling around on Facebook, liking friends' pictures and reading articles. After clicking through to a site to read one article, I clicked around that website and I came across a page that said, "Write For Us." It listed their guidelines and stated that they would pay $100 for original work they chose to publish. That caught my interest. Our travel budget would love an extra $100.
A few days later, I submitted an essay; it was something I had tried to shorten and anonymize from a piece I had already written. A week passed. It was rejected.
I had another essay I had been working on during that week; it was something I was planning to blog about but I decided to write it specifically with submission in mind, formatted a bit more to the site's styling. I submitted it on May 24th. On May 26th, I received an email saying it was accepted! It is scheduled to be published on June 27th!
I must say, I was pretty excited and even a bit proud, though it is no major accomplishment. Until now, I have only told a couple people because, since it is not actually published yet, I am almost afraid to somehow jinx it! I am anxiously awaiting June 27th to see how this plays out. I am nervous about putting myself out there on a site that has over 2 million followers on Facebook. I will probably decide not to ever read the comments. I do plan to try to submit more, but I have no idea if this piece being accepted was a fluke or if I could actually get published repeatedly. I don't know how much I have to say that I would be comfortable sharing so publicly. I guess time will tell.
For now, I am content with journaling our lives and my thoughts on our private family blog, writing about our travels to share on our public blog, and occasionally submitting a piece for publication to see if I can add a few dollars to our travel budget.
Wish me luck!
