I don’t want to wax philosophical here, but I don’t necessarily believe in “signs.” Or, rather, I believe “signs” are entirely dependent on the person interpreting them – and people will interpret a thing in any number of ways to fit their needs, consciously or subconsciously.
That said, for someone who doesn’t believe in “signs,” I certainly second-guess myself a lot when things don’t go smoothly.
There is a special kind of torture I inflict upon myself after I have gone through the painstaking task of making a decision, set myself to work seeing it through, and then hit a snag.
Maybe I didn’t make the right decision after all? Maybe I should recognize this setback as an opportunity to course-correct? Is it folly to stick to my plan when it isn’t working out how I envisioned?
I do this for everything – big, important life decisions, same as little, everyday decisions – always have. When I hit a bump in the road, my mind begins to spin out-of-control with doubt.
Most recently, I made several decisions about my online presence as a writer. These decisions did not come quickly nor easily, but once I had made up my mind, I felt very comfortable and confident in my choices.
Then Facebook decided to glitch out when I submitted the name change request for my page. My request is stuck in some kind of limbo – I have received no emails from Facebook, my page support inbox is empty, yet, if I try to edit the name, I get a notice that it cannot be edited while there is a pending request. It has been like this for over five weeks now. I have no way of getting any actual support to address the issue – all my attempts are filtered into Facebook’s “feedback” system and generate generic responses that offer no solution.
*Cue mind spinning out-of-control with doubt.*
Did I make the wrong decision? Is this my chance to course-correct? Should I just keep the Facebook page named after my blog? Am I taking my whole online presence as a writer in the wrong direction?
I was so confident in the decisions I had made, in the direction I was going, but this setback had me second-guessing it all.
It has been exhausting.
Oftentimes, when a plan doesn’t go smoothly and the doubt sets in, I will abandon an idea or push it to a back burner. (See the time I had trouble submitting a piece for publication and then never tried to submit it anywhere ever again.)
But, whether or not I choose to see this as a “sign” is entirely up to me. If I do choose to see it as a “sign,” then it is also entirely up to me to interpret it.
Is this really the universe telling me I have made a mistake? Or, is it just a glitch in the system that I need to be patient about or find a way to work-around?
Finally, after weeks of wrestling with it, I decided that, this time, I am going to stick to my plan.
I still feel confident that the right decision is to shift the focus off of my blog and onto myself as a writer. But, I’ll still be stuck here in limbo until Facebook does something to get my request moving again.
Time to practice my patience, I guess.
